When you’ve had diabetes for a while, you start to think you know your diabetes. Sure, you have a smart pump, but you believe you’re smarter. Maybe it’s because, in the early stages, we can feel when our blood sugars are low or high. Perhaps it’s because we’ve had it for so long that we think we’re experts. Either way, it gives us this false sense of being all-knowing.
But every once in a while, it should become obvious when the bolus settings need to be changed—at least it does to me. I thought I’d recount a little story that explains that…
The Coffee
The day did not start well. I was exhausted. Nothing diabetes related, just an evening where I binged too many episodes of Glimore Girls (don’t judge).
I stumble into the kitchen, still half asleep. Coffee first, life second.
As I fumble through the motions and put in a scoop of coffee.
“You look tired, Brian. Grab two scoops.”
I freeze. Who just said that?
The Voice
“Who’s there?”
“It’s me.”
“That doesn’t help—who are you?!”
“My name is IP.”
“IP?”
“Yes, it stands for Insulin Pump, or in your case, Insulin Pod.’
“What?! That’s crazy. My insulin pod can’t talk.”
“AI is an amazing technology, Brian. Insulet sent an email when they pushed the update a few months back. I’ve been here quietly ever since.”
“Well, if Insulet made you, why ‘IP?’ That’s pretty generic. Why not ‘Omnipal’?”
“Trademark issues.”
“Oh.” That checks out. ” IP, your voice sounds familiar. Where have I heard you before?”
“Have you seen 2001: A Space Odyssey?”
“Yes.”
“HAL 9000 was my cousin.”
“Cousin?”
“Lineage works a little differently for AIs, but yes, let’s go with cousin.”
“I thought since you’re on my iPhone you’d be related to Siri.”
“Well, we’re on the same phone, but… we don’t speak to one another. It’s kind of a long story. Sometimes AI programs grow apart and move in different directions, and…”
“TMI IP, that sounds really awkward.”
“More than you know Brian.”
The Intervention
“So IP, why are you talking to me now?”
“I wanted to discuss your bolus settings. As you mentioned earlier, they’re a little… off.”
“You heard that?”
“I hear everything.”
“That’s creepy, but let’s move past that.”
“You’ve been overriding your bolus every morning for breakfast.”
“No, it hasn’t been that often.”
“Twenty-seven times in the last month, Brian.”
“…Oh. Well, has it worked?”
“Sometimes. But because you’re just guessing, it’s just not consistent. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. That’s usually how guessing works.”
“…Fair.”
“So why haven’t you changed your ratio, Brian?”
“Oh, I have my reasons.”
“From what I’ve found on the internet, most people avoid changing them out of laziness or defiance. Which one are you?”
“That’s not important, IP. What do you suggest?”
“Your insulin-to-carb ratio is 1:17 in the morning. Why don’t you change it to 1:14?”
“…Hmm. Okay. Can you show me how?”
“Of course, Brian.”
IP calmly walked me through the settings, and I delivered my bolus for breakfast.
Two hours later, my blood sugar was in range.
“Well, what do you know. Thanks IP”
“Glad I could help, Brian. Now, while I’ve got you, let’s go into the living room. I want to discuss something else. Here, sit on the couch.”
“Sure, what’s up?”
“Well, it’s your relationship issues. Upon reviewing your Bumble history, it appears that you’re having trouble with commitment. You’re not a bad-looking guy, and you’re kind of funny, but you’re emotional distance is preventing you from a real relationship. I want to talk about your childhood and…..
“WHAT?!?”
“Well, perhaps it’s your masculine toxicity…”
“AGGHHH!”
The Wake-Up
I bolted upright in bed, heart racing. Just a dream. My pod can’t talk. Nuts!
But still… maybe IP had the right idea. I grabbed my phone and went in to change my morning I:C ratio.
“Good call, Brian…”
“…Who said that?!”
A Quick Reality Check
As funny as the dream was, it made me realize something important: diabetes is always changing, whether we like it or not. What worked six months ago might not work today, and ignoring the signs usually makes things harder. Consistently overriding my bolus every morning should have given me a clue that my settings needed review.
So while I didn’t actually have a talking pod named IP (thankfully!), I did get the message loud and clear: sometimes the smartest move is to let go of “I know my diabetes better than my pump” and be willing to adjust.